Monday, November 27, 2006

Have they not seen previous seasons?



I understand that they’re young, and hot, and filled to their frosted tips with raging hormones, but MTV's Real World has been on for eighteen seasons. EIGHTEEN (if that doesn’t make you feel old, I don’t know what does). So, by now, even young Jersey girls like Colie, no not “collie,” Colie, should know that hooking up with the cute “I like to make out, it’s my thing” Alex the very first night you live together is a BAD idea. Even though he’s (allegedly) well-endowed. Yes, thanks to the wonders of modern microphones, the entire country now knows that 21-year-old Alex has a giant wiener, at least by Colie’s standards.

This is probably why second hot girl roommate, Jennifer, decided to hook up with Alex the NEXT NIGHT. And I quote, “Before I knew it, we were having sex!” Yes, that happens to me often… making frozen pizza, and oops, your penis is in my vagina… how did that happen? But wait, it gets better, when Colie comes down to check on the pizza, which is now practically on fire like the loins of the Real Worlders, Jennifer and Alex pretend like they weren’t just getting it on in the guest room. One little problem with your plan of betrayal, kiddos – there’s a fucking camera on you at all times! Remember? The audition tape? the mic that’s permanently affixed to your ass? That’s why you’re in Denver in the first place.

I don’t know, maybe the altitude has gone to all of their heads. I could go on about the two girls that made out in the hot tub within 12 hours of arriving in Denver, and the strict black Baptist and gay Baptist that sleep side-by-side, but I think you already get the message I’m trying to send: Best Season Ever of the Best Show on Earth!

Thank you, thank you, oh glorious MTV, you’ve done it again. I highly recommend tuning in on Wednesday at 10pm to see more of the drama unfold.

4 comments:

erin is gross said...

denver?!

Jules said...

Look, 18 seasons. They even repeated NYC. At this point, it's the bottom of the barrel. And really, when they're hot and making out, does it really matter? At this point they could stick a hot tub in Kabul and have the same sex laden, content lacking show (although kevlar -- not that sexy).
Tivo Season Pass, here I come.

Audrey said...

Exactly! As long as there's drinking, sex and deception (preferably in that order) they can have it anywhere. Stay tuned for Real World Detroit. Followed by the edge-of-your-seat, thrilling Real World Bakersfield.

stephanie said...

drinking, sex, deception AND pizza!