Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Spamtastic

No one likes email spam, but I ask you to take a step back to appreciate the fact that the spammers of the world are getting more and more creative. With new security settings and email filters developing every day, spammers are forced to expand their subject lines beyond “Lowest Pre-approved Mortgage!!!” and “Tired of your sexual dysfunction?” to more unexpected phrases to get through to your inbox.

Even still, many emails get thrown straight into the spam folder, which is why I suggest that you take the time to look through it every month or so. You’ll be amazed by the bizarre phrases that spam companies create – are they randomly computer generated? Written by monkeys? Or do they hire recently graduated English majors to sit and concoct the most inappropriate word combinations ever?

Here are just a few of my favorite subject lines that I found in my spam folder this week. Some of them sort of make sense when you think about them long enough.

Bunk bed attract

Aircraft soft

Ingenious statesmanship

Maritime swivel

Groundlessly meager

Flustered placenta

Expectantly housewarming

Hatchet concisely

Sheepishly attack

Woodpecker overhead projector

Libelous mediocrity

I pose a challenge to you, readers: a prize for the first person who can combine these phrases in somewhat logical short story. I will be accepting submissions all week.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Some of my personal favs include:

I will eat 2 cheese bugers and then take this

overpriced swamp

Then said unto you to the backbone.

foot, labour, in thee. O God destroy it. Behold, my dinner

the man with the smallest

do wayside of watery

Porter mother children terminate

Anonymous said...

i just like the sweet grammar:

swamped, huh

a a desperado

no so mckenzie

it go mitral

that no priscilla (followed by "re: Elvis)

you it confident

no or roughneck

friendster friend update.

oh shit! remember friendster?

stephanie said...

umm... seriously, WTF!?

that ye would give them that are broken tooth

The ethereal no promiscuity
Lord. Favour before and of and it is thenceforth

thee. The wood that on his side Jordan, with thee that God; is feeble

chosen these shall be transformed by the mount, or hath also

Cate the Great said...

I got this lovely number in my gmail Inbox yesterday (somehow it didn't get caught by the spam filter!!):

Chinese stings, vermont save winter trip.
Beauty brief barbie martini tabloid whore stars wonderful pop.
Steps offer nations first uterus procedure would an.
Displayed url remember personal info this friend message.
Reality cat poop coffee, hungry.
Archvleden prosinec jen, ervenec erven kvten, duben rss.
Health center shopping legal career wireless emails?
Scoop page six askmen tmz wire girl iconique derekhail.
Says five kids enough beyonce.
Chinese stings, vermont save winter trip.

I love how it just tumbles off the tongue.