Wednesday, January 17, 2007

man pants hall of fame

i have a few thoughts on uncomfortable things that some men wear from time to time. i pretty much think that some of them are the most awful inventions ever.

buckle shorts with lots of pockets, snaps and other acoutrements.

this might be a woman, but with buff and shaven man legs. pink crocs or whatever these duck shoes they sell at airports are called and athletic dong socks are the worst, but they don't have anything on these wicked retro daisy shorts.

these might be pants for jail birds, but i'm not sure. nevertheless, they shouldn't squeeze your nuts to death. see that muffin? it's the manquivalent of camel toe. go away.

these are the denim version of what my good pal doug calls bbq shoes. like the kind of shoes a 45 yr old dad who loves the first shorts i showed and wears them to van halen concerts where he smokes dope and says the word "tits" a lot even though he'd never do it at home because if he did, his wife sue would never cook him hot pockets.

however, there are one pair of jeans that any man can wear and can wear well:

levis 501s are a classic. however, i've heard that the buttons are bad for man parts, especially during dry sex. can anyone confirm or deny?

2 comments:

Audrey said...

Button flies are also harder to undo in moments of passion. Just thought I'd point that out.

erin is gross said...

see, i love the noise they make when you unbotton them quickly.