Wednesday, January 31, 2007

... can you tie 'em in a knot? can you tie 'em in a bow?


dear cisco adler,

i would like to recommend that you take some of your trust fund and invest in a ball lift. although, by the looks of it you are actually storing all of your hard earned cash in your nuts, hence your struggling battle with gravity. in a flury of genuine concern and mostly mockery, we decided to consult unibloggal's favorite medical expert, dr. jarrett, about your sagging.

"well now. there are two competing medical theories here:
1) hot tub syndrome - the opposite of jumping in cold water...I have "heard from friends" that a few minutes in the tub can have such an effect.
2) his nuts are made of solid gold...making them much heavier than plain ole nuts.
Treatment options: nothing! why the hell would you want to get rid of such an impressive set of low hangers."

my own personal theory is a combination of the two previous mentioned with the additional "your girlfriend drags you around by your balls all day long". well in that case, she deserves the black eyes she inevitably receives when trying to find your dick amongst your giant testicles. all in all, my best advice is this: invest in a wheelbarrow and some protective eyewear for mischa.

your band is real sucky.

best of luck,
unibloggal

5 comments:

grensley said...

your photoshop skills are impeccable. friend rank #1 (phil is #2)

Audrey said...

Is it weird that I find saggy balls sexy?

erin is gross said...

i am happy to blog with you.

i wonder if jimmy cooper had saggy balls, hence the attraction.

Tina said...

you know your balls are too saggy when they give black eyes to anyone that dares to give them love.
ps - best photoshop ever.

Randy said...

As a REALLY gay man, I have to say I like saggers. However, this dude is gross and a little too girly for my taste!