Thursday, January 04, 2007

Splish splash I was running around naked

It's the question on every boy's mind. What do the girls do when the boys aren't around? Do they get bikini waxes together? Do they sit around and discuss the penis size of every man they've ever seen naked? Do they take off their clothes and bathe in big communal baths full of naked ladies? Well, boys, we're here to answer your questions. Yes, yes and yes.

The communal bathing is not as often an occurrence, but it happened last week in San Francisco to two of our Uniblog-gals. Upon entering the room, we were surprised to see so many naked women in one place. In fact, the capacity of Kabuki Japanese Baths is 52. Minus Steph and Audrey, that's 50 additional naked ladies. In one room. FIFTY. NAKED. LADIES. They were of all shapes and sizes, of varying ages, ethnicities and most noticeably, varying pubic coverage. We considered printing out the Naughty Nads post and tacking it up to the locker room wall. It was honestly a little out of control.

It was strange at first, but we quickly got used to sagging breasts relaxing in armchairs, labia lounging in the sauna, nipples standing at attention by the cold pool. Yeah, okay, so it was kinda weird.

But it was relaxing. We enjoyed our quiet mellow nudey time. Until a stray boob belonging to one of the Uniblog-gals (and we're not saying whom) got so excited, it accidentally knocked over a cup of water by the hot tub. "See!" cried Audrey, er, uh, I mean, the owner of the naughty breast. "I told you they have a mind of their own. I can't take them anywhere!"

At that point we burst into giggles at the fact the breast had actually knocked over the water. On its own. By accident. Until the employees sounded the gong to remind bathers to be quiet and breasts to be obedient. Those of us so in tune with the true meaning of gongs knew that it realy meant grow up and shut up. Please.

The baths are meant to be shallow, the bathers are not. Clearly, we're too immature for the communal baths.

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