What will technology think up next?

Since Erin is in the far away land of Los Angeles today, she asked me to take over this Friday’s dating tip. A decision I’m sure she’ll soon regret.

Today’s dating tip is about visitors. Two kinds of visitors… the out-of-town lover type of visitor. And a girl’s special monthly type of visitor. And how the two should never arrive on the same weekend.

Granted, the timing of one’s cycle is something that is a little beyond our control. Or so I thought…

We have a certain friend that was inspired by Steph’s post and now has all of the Unibloggal’s cycles on his phone. This is actually convenient because I can consult with him to find out the daily status of my reproductive system.

But what I didn’t realize until this week is that not only can the program monitor your cycle, it can also control it. Making sure one’s monthly “visitor” is gone before the out-of-town lover visitor arrives.

erin: wow, really?! i mean, his phone can cease menstruation?
me: Not cease, make it come early.
me: either that or I willed it so with pure mental power
erin: wow
me: a miracle I tell you!
erin: i wish the phone could sterilize me
me: hmmmm, that could possibly be arranged, if placed in the right position in your uterus
erin: haha
for an extended period of time. the phone rays might make it shrivel up
me: true, but when someone called, it would be like a party in your belly!
erin: oh crap
if you accidently put it on that weird rio dejaniero techno ring tone it would suck
me: "what is that noise?" "Oh, that's just my inutero phone. It'll go off in a sec."
erin: so awesome
me: AND, if you were to get knocked up, it would aid in communication with your unborn fetus
dude, this is a brilliant idea!
I'm going to patent this immediately
erin: "hello, please pick up"
me: maybe we can put a blackberry/trio type thing in there too and call it... CompUterus
erin: holy shit
me: Introducing: THE COMPUTERUS (patent pending)
erin: blog that shit