Friday, December 08, 2006

What will technology think up next?

Since Erin is in the far away land of Los Angeles today, she asked me to take over this Friday’s dating tip. A decision I’m sure she’ll soon regret.

Today’s dating tip is about visitors. Two kinds of visitors… the out-of-town lover type of visitor. And a girl’s special monthly type of visitor. And how the two should never arrive on the same weekend.

Granted, the timing of one’s cycle is something that is a little beyond our control. Or so I thought…

We have a certain friend that was inspired by Steph’s post and now has all of the Unibloggal’s cycles on his phone. This is actually convenient because I can consult with him to find out the daily status of my reproductive system.

But what I didn’t realize until this week is that not only can the program monitor your cycle, it can also control it. Making sure one’s monthly “visitor” is gone before the out-of-town lover visitor arrives.

erin: wow, really?! i mean, his phone can cease menstruation?
me: Not cease, make it come early.
me: either that or I willed it so with pure mental power
erin: wow
me: a miracle I tell you!
erin: i wish the phone could sterilize me
me: hmmmm, that could possibly be arranged, if placed in the right position in your uterus
erin: haha
for an extended period of time. the phone rays might make it shrivel up
me: true, but when someone called, it would be like a party in your belly!
erin: oh crap
if you accidently put it on that weird rio dejaniero techno ring tone it would suck
me: "what is that noise?" "Oh, that's just my inutero phone. It'll go off in a sec."
erin: so awesome
me: AND, if you were to get knocked up, it would aid in communication with your unborn fetus
dude, this is a brilliant idea!
I'm going to patent this immediately
erin: "hello, please pick up"
me: maybe we can put a blackberry/trio type thing in there too and call it... CompUterus
erin: holy shit
me: Introducing: THE COMPUTERUS (patent pending)
erin: blog that shit

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