Wednesday, December 27, 2006

ho ho ho (aka erin)

hi y'all. don't worry, i didn't adopt a southern accent while i was gone for the baby jesus holiday times. i headed up north to seattle for a few days to eat the shit out of some food, stay in weird hotels and hug lots of older people who liked to tell stories about me from whenst i was but a tot. a few highlights from my trip:

while watching lots of tv, i saw an infomercial for YOGA BOOTY BALLET. i've searched the internet like crazy for the past 12 seconds and haven't been able to find a video in order to demonstrate how insanely wtf-y this shit is. they have a move called "bad kitty" where you stick your spandex clad ass out really far and make cat scratching motions with your hands while gyrating profusely. it's hot.

while shopping for some last minute gifts, including a "secret santa" gift for a yet to be announced female member of my family, i visited a fred meyer in bellingham, washington. as far as i can tell, fred meyer occupies the rung on the ladder above kmart and walmart but about six below target. they sell lots of food, delicious wines and a foot spa for only $17.99 which i purchased!

remember when i previously mentioned stories about little me? well, every time there is a family gathering some variation of this little story seems to rush violently from the voice boxes of either my grandma or one of my 8 aunts. apparently at age 2, i plopped down on the couch in front of a room full of family members and loudly asked them if they all wanted to see my "trotch" while lifting my dress above my head. oh, good to know nothing's changed. i'm always fun to have at parties!

after returning, i visited our myspace page. i was reminded that about 2 weeks ago i drunkenly updated our general interests section to include some of mine and our favorite things. a dear reader and genuine real lifey friend was puzzled by one of these interests, namely, drysex. he wondered why we might be inclined to list this over its counterpart, wetsex. see, tenth grade erin was a huge fan of drysex. you could experience what one of our friends named "pee feeling," not get prego and do it in your mom's minivan without being naked. also, modern day adult erin is a huge fan of all things retro and vintage, which includes drysex. so old school. now go add us as your myspaceter so we feel very popular and friendly.

lastly, blogger has been screwing me hard (and dry) for the past six days or so. i have been totally unable to sign into blogger to update you with drunken reflections on holiday lore. it blows. you'd think google could spend some of their fifteen hundred million trillion dollars on making this thing work, right? afterall, the future of china depends on me writing about dumb crap.

yours truly,
p.s. it might be a little slow around here for a few days. it's impossible to "get it up" for your blog when your with your mom a lot.

1 comment:

grensley said...

can we PLEASE do yoga booty ballet. that sounds simply fantasstic!