Monday, October 30, 2006

dudes with haircuts

i am pretty much a thirteen year old girl with a desk job and an adult apartment. i have teenage sisters and relate to them almost better than i do some people my own age. i often volunteer to take them to "concerts" under the guise of being a rad older sister even though i'm old enough to be their mother. it's fun because i get to relive my youth, go to see embarrassing bands play and spend time with those cute little nuggets. lately, i've been noticing that some of these bands, all of which i've seen live either with friends or with these kiddies, have undergone some serious hair transformations upon the release of their second famousy record. i think i've invented a new theory called "second record serious style switchy because we're really famous now." i'm open to suggestions on a better name, though.


when i was 20, i loved AFI. i was really angsty, lived with my parents for awhile, went to shows almost every day and loved little davey havok's kinda gothy looking straight edgeness. he was so cute and a little eddie munsterish, but i really thought he'd be my boyfriend some day. before i knew it his muscles were huge, he was covered in tattoos and he was wearing white vinyl all over the place. it was scary and they were famous. i was sad but also intrigued. recently they put out a new record and davey was back with a cousin of his old haircut. the bro storm has ceased, but my boyfriend is a girl...and kind of a hot one.

i don't like this band and i never have, so don't get mad at me. i did, however, go see them in concert with my lil sisters. when we saw them sometime last year, they looked like this:

they are like ready to edward scissors hands the shit out of you right here, ya know? and see the guy on the right, he's like "maybe i'm a junky. maybe i'm not." and mister "i'll take mine with a side of bandana" over on the left is totally too smart for his own good. i won't even get into the fineries of the other two jersey douche-a-thons or the fact that singer man in the middle is such a fat kid in a normal sized man's body. it's so weird. anyway, now they look like this:

wow! look how grown up they are now. and so serious, i'd almost think this was dishwalla or some other mid nineties dad band. look, they're even wearing dad leather jackets. that's cute. maybe they're going after me this time and less for my lil baby sisters who wear black on the outside because black is how they feel on the inside. (sorry for the obligatory morrissey lyrics.)


look at this jovial bunch of blazer wearing eyeliner fans. so very groomed and befit for national television. just like their music, so sparkely and polished. i saw this band in 2004 on accident at coachella, which i think was something like their very first show outside of either new york city or their home town of las vegas, which is kind of crazy because coachella ain't no little guy in the realm of first shows in the second largest state in the "lower 48," as we alaskans call them. anyway, album number two, a new found love of the boss and some wicked facial hair and we have:

first of all, when did jim morrison and chevy chase join the band? secondly, why is that guy wearing a colonel sanders tie and stache combo? lastly, i totally fugging love their new single. i'm not sure they really had to go getting this old timey for our sake, but it does make me wonder one thing...

if bands have managed to become glenn danzig, candle box and now bruce springsteen, do you think that my wildest dreams will come true and the next person it will be hip emulate will be john cougar mellencamp? i just really love the coug and i want to see a cute twenty something try to pull off his look but with eye makeup this time.


New Agey No Friends said...

my ex girlfriend's ex before me was none other than Hunter "I'm the bald older dude" of AFI. So I guess this isn't exactly appropriate for a post titled "dudes with haircuts"... anyway I've developed a crystalline hatred for this walking canker-sore with no help needed from her. I literally threw a shoe at my (parents) television when I saw the hideously red pants he was wearing at the MTV Music Awards. Anyway holler at me for more dirt on Baldass Hunter from AFI.

erin is gross said...

we gotta talk.

RobTunderVillain said...

sorry this is a bit delayed, but is it me or does the singer from My Chemical Romance now look like Elliot from ET, with like, Annie Lennox hair? good to to see that he's laying off those cheesburgers and slimmed down a bit.

Love_Is_Blind said...

Kudos on your post. The only band up there I like is AFI and I thought "what the heck happened to Davey? And Jade for that matter..." I think Davey went too far with the false eye lashes... your thoughts??

erin is gross said...

agree. i can handle eyeliner on a man, but eye lashes are wrong-tastic!