Friday, March 23, 2007

Oops, I did it again...

I've played with my own heart and put myself out there for the online dating community to have their way with me. With my first message from a potential suitor, I am reminded why I hate online dating. It's hard in New York, people...

"you are delightfully mysteriously striking and perhaps the bee's knees! though i don't have much to go on... i'm am quite fond of owls and swans. so... what else do you fancy? how about oysters and bloody marys on a sunday... digging through old albums you've got hidden in boxes somewhere? did you ever go through a Rod Stewart phase? me neither... but i bought a bunch off some guy on the street the other day. have you ever been to tokyo? up at 5 am to visit the magical theatrical fish market where they auction off the tuna with surreal billowing clouds of dry ice singing the prices and twirling bright red paint brushes to mark each sale? giggling girls in little bo peep outfits on the subway next to business men blushing?"

Come on, people! How do I possibly respond to this??? Of course I went through a Rod Stewart phase! No, seriously, didn't we all? I'll figure it out b/c he's actually one of the cuter people on there so I think I'll go out with him. And yes, you'll hear all about it.

4 comments:

New Agey No Friends said...

Come on now "fond of owls and swans"??? Are you frickin yarkin' me?

Also "surreal billowing clouds of dry ice singing the prices and twirling bright red paint brushes to mark each sale"... I'm sorry no. I've been there done that and it was neither surreal nor billowing. I'm calling bullshit on this dude.

Leslie Miller said...

"perhaps the bees knees" ?!?!?! affectation much? this is by far the most hilarious online dating response i have ever read (and i've read alot!). oh colleen, i wish i could be waiting on the futon eating anytime tots when you get home from this one!

stephanie said...

can you please enhance this post even more with a photo of this dude? is that illegal in onlinedatingville?
i cannot wait for the follow up to this.

comeoncolleen said...

i deleted my account. i got a few more messages from wackjobs that made my palms sweat. i had to. i'm sorry folks.