Friday, April 06, 2007

friday dating tip: dear diary

remember a few months ago when i suggested that you all take a rainy day date? well it turned out that that night wasn't at all rainy. this weekend is kind of rainy. and remember on tuesday when i exposed you the kind of weekend i (we) recently had? a weekend like that means i (you) deserve a break. and remember a bit longer ago than either of these suggestions, i asked that you just chill out with yourself?

taking a few pointers from all of these thoughts, i suggest that you just refrain from interacting with your sex of choice. or if you do so, act like teenagers. share with one another your high school diaries (i did this last night with the person (not simon) who shares my bed), it's a great insight into the TRUE person you're dating or want to date. if they let you read it, you're really catching a glimpse of how they were before adulthood beat them down with a harsh and mature stick. if you were my dude (sorry, matt), you would have learned, for example, that i used to talk to "the lord" in between describing how badly i wanted to pierce my tongue and how much i kmarted (code word for drinking in case my mom got a hold of the diary). or that i was kind of a kissing bandit. the good news is, if you share your diary and the person stays the night in your bed, you have a keeper.

the bad news is, they'll know you talked to god and that your aversion to exercise and being responsible is likely hereditary because you've always been that way.

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