Tuesday, April 24, 2007

res ipsa loquitur


Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blonde tramp
And she's probably getting frisky
Right now he's probably buying her some fruity little drink
Cause she can't shoot whiskey
Right now he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick
Showing her how to shoot a combo
And he don't know
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Right now she's probably up singing somewhite-trash version of Shania karaoke
Right now she's probably saying "I'm drunk"
And he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky
Right now he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo
And he don't know
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

5 comments:

laurin said...

no joke i love that song but my god seeing a three year old sing (with reckless abandon) how she's gonna slash a hole in her cheatin' man's tires is scary to me on many levels. i guess we need to teach our girls early that men are nothing more than two timing low life assholes who deserve a woman who will destroy their physical property. yay america!

billy said...

horrifying, i know, like she's a jon benet gone country. although the final wind-up is hilarious.

erin is gross said...

wtf?!?!?!?!

a) that is such a cute little nugget of a baby

b) what the crap is that song?

c) i think they need to make american idol and/or shania, mariah carey videos only viewable to those over 16.

Tina said...

only an esq. would start a post with res ipsa...

billy said...

tina, do you remember the affidavit i told you about when we first met? "i felt a bubbling in my stomach and knew i was getting diarrhea so i called my boss and went home. this was within my rights."