Friday, May 25, 2007

season finales: a report card

alert! if you're not caught up on your television, look away, baby look away.
finale season for me is over. somehow this television season i found myself with more shit to watch than i knew what to do with. i've still got some outstanding episodes of entourage to soak up, but other than that, bring on september sweeps. for me, this round of shows brought some highs and lows. i've outlined below some of the shows i've been watching and exactly how their finales rated on a report card, and collectively what 2007 spring television scored as a GPA.
america's next top model: c+
this season's winner was jaslene, finally a latina took home the top prize. i was surprised tyra picked her because she's an ematiated skeletor and tyra is on her new SO WHAT rampage after being pictured in magazines looking a little more pork pie-ish than you'd imagine. jaslene has a serious accent that might impede her ability to excel in the only post-winner job she will get, starring in the "my life as a cover girl" bits they do during commercials. this show is so lame i want to punch myself. while in my hotel room last week i caught a marathon of ANTM: season 1 and WOW, that was some delicious television. i want more adriane, more christians and more fights. it's so boring! and i can't stop watching it.

dancing with the stars: a-
i've never really watched this show before but got hooked before i could stop myself. i heard joey fatone on howie stern yesterday and he said the eff word a lot, which made me like him. unfortunately, he didn't win. the combination of heather mills, steve sanders, some tiny little figure skater (or speed?) all clad in spangles and high wasted pants was too much. it was pretty great. apolo anton ono won. mainly because he was mere millimeters from boning his teen partner on the stage. it was mega teen hot. me likey.

grey's anatomy: finale/d, season/b+ = c+
overall, i thought this season was great. lots of people both boned and also died, there was minimal derrick/meredith story line (whiney brats!) and addison montgomery sheppard isn't so much a great actress, but easy on the eyes. HOWEVER, the finale was a stupid ass pile of poo. i hated it. preston burke is a dumb dumb and i totally think they wrote him off because he ran away with his lucky scrub in cap and trumpet. the way christina and meredith act like bffs is totally lame-o. all in all, it was a poo finale. i really wanted alex to french ava, george and his wife are mash, izzy is a douche.

american idol: b-
i'm still pissed that blake lewis didn't win, though i knew he wouldn't and in this picture he looks like ryan seacrest. how pissed is brian dunkelman, by the way? anyway, there was way too much charity broohahahaha on this season and though i think it's worthy, middle america is like "africa?" i fast forwarded through the entire finale and just watched the end. i can't deal with jordin sparks, mainly because she dwarfs every man on that show. it's weird.

lost: a
i've now reached a point with this show where i have a manageable list of outstanding questions that i need answered. it used to be that i was boggled beyond comprehension. they've done a good job in a few short episodes of explaining a few things but not blowing their load. people did it, someone died (we are everybody!) and there are great things to look forward to. word is we're stuck with this show til 2010, so the future looks bright. and sawyer is hottish.
overall GPA: 3.0


grensley said...

addison is hot and the name of my first born

Shannon said...

i might be switch-hitting into the land of sawer-ish....