Friday, May 25, 2007

new york city: a celebrity redux

hello. i apologize for being so distant with you all lately. i returned about 36 hours ago from a six day new york city adventure. while i was a ragingly bad friend who only managed to squeeze in two fast dinners with uniblogger colleen, not catching a single glimpse of audrey and billy and collecting a fascinating number of moderate celebrity encounters. this is one of my favorite parts of new york. ex-models, movie stars, musicians, b-list and reality tv celebrities (walk the streets, dining, taking in shows (not the broadway kind) with the rest of us, just like us weekly says. and the best part, everyone acts normal. in los angeles it's a shit storm butt hole cluster eff anytime some tween star gets out of her land rover. in new york it's like "who are you? i don't care. i don't even see you." it's awesome. here is a list of my radical celebrity shoulder rubbings while in the big apple:

this is a stroke. not the drew barrymore one. he's short. i saw him at a secret machines show at the annex. his girlfriend? was six inches taller than him.

this is a perverted photog (as they call them in the celebrity world of e!) named terry richardson. i saw him walking down bowery whith a girl who looked exactly like albert hammond jr.'s girlfriend? i was sensing a trend. the second after we passed him, we stepped over a huge pile of what looked like spilled powdered sugar. boogar sugar? no one could tell.

i forget her name. i think it's lauren or laurel graham. she's the mom on gilmore girls. i think that show is over and now she's in that new michael from the office movie about noah's arc. tina and i saw her shopping at our favorite boot store on prince and then again at dinner at freeman's alley on tuesday night. she had a girl with her both times, i wonder if they were knocking boots. she has pretty hair, but i bet that shit is fake.

this is larenz tate. me and tina stopped our trek across lower manhattan to eat some snacks and stuff. he was in boyz in the hood and then he was having lunch in soho. weird. he's very short which is normal for celebrities, i think. what do they have against tall people other than dharma and uma? his girlfriend? was wearing a beedazzled trucker hat and had a hot rear.

after that we think we saw dave chappel in a fendi scarf. but i can't be sure.
i'm not joking when i say that i've seen more contestants from various seasons of project runway than anyone else while in new york. this is daniel v, also known as the person i have most prayed to god would turn straight than anyone else on earth. i love him. i would crush him with my height and girth, but he's adorable. his hair, clothes, sweetsweetness and i'm getting emo so i'll stop. he was at freeman's alley too. i love him.


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