Not much magic here

I’ve always had a thing for magicians. I mean, who doesn’t? Their minds so mysterious… their hands so nimble. One summer in college, I worked at a toy store with an onsite magician. I was so in love with him. I would sit in the puzzle section and fantasize about going out with him…

He’d pull a bouquet out from behind my ear when he picked me up for dinner.

Appetizers would appear out of thin air at the table.

And on the way home I’d notice a strange sensation under my shirt.
“That’s because I have…. YOUR BRA!”

We never did go out. In fact, I got fired from that job for spending too much time at the magic table and ignoring the customers. True story.

There’s only one thing I find as hot as magicians: Edward Norton. So, you can imagine my excitement when a movie like The Illusionist came out. Edward Norton playing a magician? Does it get any better than that?

I saw that movie earlier tonight and the answer is yes. Yes, it gets a lot better than that, because the movie blows. The plot is holey and weak, the writing is lazy, and the surprise twist is about as surprising as the gum on the theatre floor. But worst of all, the one scene of hot magician on duchess action is totally blurry and PG-rated. When I see a magician movie, I demand hot magician action, damnit!