Dear Universal Pictures,
Sunday afternoon we lost two hours of our lives. We want it back. It was a scary, painful, and nearly torturous experience. We want to warn you that your new picture, "Because I said So" may rob many more unsuspecting women and gay men from precious moments of their lives. This is a very serious situation and one that we hope you will address immediately.
Damn you, Universal. For mandy's acting with her eyebrows, for Mandy's searching for lines while waving her hands, for unnecessary song sequences, for random shots of the dog (leave him out of this), for the scene where Mandy Moore informs her mother Diane Keaton how amazing orgasms are, for... oh my god kill me now. No one should be subjected to that.
In an effort to save future movie goers from the pain and misery we experienced yesterday we recommend a disclaimer on all marketing materials...something like "this movie will suck the life out of you," or "this movie sucks so bad you'll want to rip your eyeballs out," or even "this movie will induce vomiting." Something, anything, please. You owe to us....you owe it to America.
Thank you and never, ever, do that again.
Sincerely,
Laurin & Billy
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