Thursday, August 23, 2007

vh1 is aces

so i have cable now. i am kind of obsessed with vh1. first of all, it's hilarious and trainwrecky. secondly, the men on all of the shows i love are so douchey but awesomely amazing. there are several shows worth pointing out.

first of all, rock of love, starring bret michaels. since the days of "look what the cat dragged in" he's become way more hillbilly and also plastic in the face. he frenches hookers and porn stares while trying to find love and also paaaaaaaaaaaartying. they have shows called "show me your hits" and "riff it good." despite her pink porcupine hair, i'm rooting for jessica.

then we have the pick up artist. this dude mystery and his wing men matador and j-dawg try to teach nerdy virgins how to score in bars in austin. i's tough because on one hand you're like "homie, you are uncomfortable." but then on the other you're like "how on fugging earth are you taking advice from a dude with amelia earhart goggles on his head and a janet jackson choker around his neck." he offers up gambits and negs in order to help them open sets. your guess is as good as mine. but it's great.

then they have rock life which is like idiot porn or something. like if you had a douche fettish. it's all these rich fucking a-holes running around LA with no shirt on being fuck heads. it is entirely awful but i keep watching it. and cisco adler, roy orbison's kid and some fuckin nerd with halloween hair make up whitestarr, the worst band ever. they're like if the black crowes died and the maggots who ate them formed a band.
beyond these, there is man band and that scott baio show, which i've never seen, but i'm sure they're both awesers.

1 comment:

laurin said...

vh1 is the shit and has the best shows ever.

rock of love: heather is best, if only for the outfits. lacey needs a swift punch to the face. jes should def win.

PUA: i'm remiss to stay i haven't watched this yet. but i'll need to add it to my list. did i just use the word remiss?

rock life: rainbow needs to die a slow death by chocking on his afro. what's his nuts...the hype man guy...needs to get trampled by groupies at one of their "concerts" at the viper room. orby needs to start doing drugs again...and then there's ballsac mcgillicutty. am i fired because the douche factor is so high on this show that i actually find cisco alder tolerable?