Oldies in the City

Based on my previous Sex in the City/Golden Girls comparison, I just had to post this. Especially considering all the debate around Carrie Bradshaw Vs. Bea Arthur. And, dude, how awesome is Mona from Who's the Boss as Miranda!

What do you look like?

New favorite game: do a search on Google for “(Your name) looks like.” Then look through the results, there are bound to be some gems. Here are my favorites for the Unibloggals…

Audrey looks like...

Audrey looks like she’s going to throw up.

Audrey looks like she's not too sure about this fat guy in red!

Stephanie looks like...

Stephanie looks like Jose Canseco.

Stephanie looks like she's been rode hard and put away wet.

Laurin looks like...

Laurin looks like a flower in a school play

Erin looks like...

Erin looks like harry potter on drugs.

Erin looks like a chorus dancer in a backwoods production of Chicago.

Julie looks like...

Julie looks like an oriental version of Bridget Fonda

Julie looks like a naughty librarian

dirty diana

i was walking from bart to work this morning when my eyes OOOOWWWWOOOGGAAAA'ed out of my head like on a cartoon. you see, michael jackson is on the cover of ebony magazine. i wasn't sure at first if it was him or latoya, but i was fairly certain it was the former since the person in question was wearing a weird lesbian suit and not a boustier. be sure to click here and go down to look at the other photos. what a freakazoid.

look at that amazing coif.

what not to douche

that's stacy london and clinton kelly who host tlc's "what not to wear." they're totally annoying and love the empire waist. they call it the umpeeeer seam which lays just under the bust and allows fabric to gently away from the body, hiding any unsightly tummy bumps. it's all very interesting.

Teeth

gentlemen, this would be a scenario where i would highly recommend a dental dam.
this shit is fucking hilarious. and horrifying.
wonder if you have to brush 'em.

film's website here

abc family, lol

last night, we were having a "sunday" which included brunch, light house cleaning in preparation for "monday," some quiet time with crosswords (they were both too hard) and some television. it's always interesting to me when i hand the remote over to "boyfriend," as his selections never include the thanksgiving-themed cooking shows on the food network or sex in the city. it's like a study in gender relations. while i was doing the dishes last night, boyfriend selected E.T. on the abc family channel. though it didn't last long, we made it through two excellent snippets from this great film of our youth. they were:

1. after ordering pizza, elliot's older brother calling him a "douche-bag"

2. after older brother makes fun of elliot for thinking he saw an alien, elliot calls him "penis breath."

i didn't know that steven spielberg or whomever wrote that movie had the same taste in name calling that i do. pretty rad.

It's like Halloween, but political

It's election day, or as I call it in San Francisco - the circus. The freaks don't come out at night in this fair city of ours, they come out in the ballad. I hope you're all heading to the polls today. Not so much because of the political expression, but because of the entertainment.

The other night I got to share in the joy and laughter of every other San Franciscan citizen in the year’s most comical publication: the official Voter Information Pamphlet.

When you have an entire proposition on the ballad devoted to the funding of the Golden Gate Park horse stables, I guess it’s not surprising that the mayoral candidates include a nudist, a sex-club owner, a florist named Chicken John and a taxicab driver named Grasshopper.

These are exact quotes from the official Voter Information Pamphlet. I swear, I am not making this stuff up:

Candidates for the Mayor of San Francisco:

GEORGE DAVIS
My occupation is Writer/Nudist Activist.

This is a One Issue campaign which is to Make Golden Gate Park Clothing Optional like the major urban parks in Europe. For other policy issues, a well known City Manager will be appointed.

Thoughts for today:
1. You are free to be nude!!! You are free to wear clothing. By California case law (In Re Smith 1972 and other court decisions), you have a freedom of choice.
2. Nude is not lewd.
3. With San Francisco's ranked three choices, voting for freedom of choice is as easy as one, two, three.

Give George Davis a ranked vote, preferably #1.

Yeah, nude is not lewd, people.

MICHAEL POWERS
My occupation is Nightclub Owner.

As a progressive I have owned and operated one of San Francisco's most unique and innovative nightclubs for 11 years. My creation of the Power Exchange adult sexual liberation experience shows my capacity to embrace every kind of alternative lifestyle and manage multiple environments housed in one totally law-abiding and successful business.

Why do all our politicians want to get us naked? I don’t know if you non-San Franciscans are familiar with the Power Exchange, but it’s San Francisco’s most infamous sex club where crazy deviant acts occur… I hear.

CHICKEN JOHN RINALDI

My occupation is Showman.

Hi, my name is Chicken John and I'm running for Mayor because I have a vision for the future of this city. I want a city that attracts artists, not one that chases them away; where innovation wins out over gentrification. In other words, a city that actually has a future, and not just a celebrated past.

And my favorite line:

C'mon, it'll be fun. Vote for me.

But the ridiculousness continues. My roommate's actually ridden in this guy's cab:

GRASSHOPPER ALEC KAPLAN

My occupation is Vegan Taxicab Driver.

Born – Moscow, Russia; English – third but only language.
Grasshopper: Vegan, Bay swimmer, owner Grasshopper Taxicab. Lifelong musician; guitarist, singer/songwriter. Compassionate, tolerant, supportive, loving. 13 years here residentially challenged.

Restore festival, carnival atmosphere; musicians, Artists, fun, love. Remember to smile, laugh, celebrate our wonderful existence, our fabulous planet; create / make Grassland model – beacon of mutual understanding, hope.

I’m still stuck on the "English – third but only language."

It could be worse, we could be Berkeley… the city that nominated an Ambassador of the Trees. The city that debates the use of the word “owners” for pets. And the city that actually voted a clown onto the school board. Literally a clown. A guy with big shoes, a round red nose and the ability to juggle rubber chickens.

I can’t believe I ever left the Bay Area. It’s just too fun here. C’mon, vote for me. It’ll be fun.