Thursday, December 07, 2006

journasty: your new favorite band


i've been in a little bit of a reading slump lately because i am a huge nerd who can't stop doing crossword puzzles, watching the movie wordplay and blogging for work about the classic design of the ny times daily puzzle. it's rough. however, i'm going on a road trip tomorrow (hello, LA) so i've been saving all of my puzzles up for the drive, that means i've been forced to read again. i'm currently working on chuck klosterman's "sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs* a low culture manifesto." so far it's a great book with musings on the real world and billy joel. between every chapter is some other small little story, strangely in a different font with no real point. the one i read on the bus this a.m. forced me to come and say, "hello, blog!"here's an LOL-able excerpt bit from one of these different font pages. it's a game i very much would like to play. My own commentary is in red.

Ten minutes later, I found it necessary to mention that Journey was rock's version of Dynasty. This prompted a spirited debate we dubbed "Monkees=Monkees." The goal is to figure out which television show is the closest philosophical analogy to a specific rock 'n' roll band, and the criteria is mind-blowingly complex: It's a combination of longevity, era, critical acclaim, commercial success, and--most important--the aesthetic soul of each artistic entity. For example, the Rolling Stones are Gunsmoke. The Strokes are Kiefer Sutherland's 24. Jimi Hendrix was The Twilight Zone. Devo was Fernwood 2-Night (WHAT IS THIS SHOW?) Lynyrd Skynyrd was The Beverly Hillbillies, which makes Molly Hatchet Petticoat Junction. The Black Crowes are That '70s Show. Hall & Oates were (are? and is oates then tom hanks?) Bosom Buddies. U2 is M*A*S*H (both got preachy at the end) (THANK YOU, U2 is the mashiest band ever. and after last friday's game of trivial pursuit, i also know that he wore horns on tour which makes him a drama geek, too.) Dokken was Jason Bateman's short-lived sitcom It's Your Move. Eurythmics were Mork & Mindy (i like this analogy because as a kid, i loved both of these but for the life of me i can't remember why). We even deduced comparisons for solo projects, which can only be made to series that were spawned as spin-offs. The four beatles are as follows: John = Maude. Paul = Frasier (shouldn't he have been Wings? that wasn't a spinoff, huh? although i think i get the analogy here. frasier crane (paul) always felt like he was picking up sam malone (lennon's) sloppy seconds. does that make diane yoko?), George = The Jeffersons, and Ringo = Flo (hahahahha!). David Lee Roth's solo period was Knots Landing. So there's proof: Marijuana makes you smarter.

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